The 4 stages of living abroad

I’m currently deciding whether I’m deep into stage 3 or bordering on the edge of stage 4, as in I’m already starting to think way too much about coming home. Anyway, too much pondering done....off to sit outside in the sunshine.

1) Homesickness

Homesickness hit me immediately on my arrival in China. I was shown my apartment at 8pm on Tuesday evening and did not see anyone again until the Friday. Why? Because I didn’t know anybody. I must admit, that I looked for tickets back home leaving the following week, and then moved on to promising myself that I could leave in January, if I got through one semester.

Arriving in a new country by yourself is difficult. I didn’t know the language, the area, the locals, my work colleagues or what food to eat. I didn’t realise that changing £50 into yuan would take me over 2 hours because everybody likes to do their banking at 11am on a Wednesday morning. I had no idea about taking the bus because every stop is in Chinese characters (so after trying to learn how to speak Chinese, I then apparently had to start reading it). Nobody told me that learning my address would take nearly two weeks, as it isn’t exactly catchy (Bayi Lu Dong Hu Xin Cun, if you were wondering)

Then there’s the issue of friends and family. Working around an 8 hour time difference takes time and patience. Oh, you can Skype at 6pm? That’s brilliant but I won’t be awake at 2am. And, when you finally coordinate and get on Skype, it usually doesn’t work because Chinese internet has a mind of its own and will happily cut out for days at a time.

However, these issues are the ones that you quickly become accustomed too and once through the homesickness stage, I was well on my way to enjoying my year abroad.

2) Excitement

This stage comes when you realise what a fantastic opportunity you are currently experiencing – 9 months living and working in China. During the excitement stage, I wanted to integrate myself in everything Chinese. I wanted noodles for breakfast and to travel on the subway. I became confident enough to start talking in Chinese and actually recognising some Chinese characters (mostly food and addresses but they’re the essentials).

I loved spending my weekends visiting attractions and starting to plan trips to other areas of China e.g. Xian and Chongqing. The realisation that I didn’t need I.D when I went out to a bar or being able to get really cheap food from the markets was something I loved and I cooked a lot during this stage. Albeit, it was mainly western food but everyone needs a Full English in their year abroad life.

3) Acceptance

I think that I’ve only recently hit this stage, and it was very gradual but really nice to know that nothing much fazes me anymore. It started with how little I now care about people staring. Beforehand, I used to be extremely irate by the time I reached my lecture room because of people staring, but now I barely notice it. Same with their eating habits – I think I’ve become both accepting and imitating as I now think nothing of spitting a chicken bone onto a table. (Nandos are going to love me).

Additionally, doing any form of admin, such as visiting a bank no longer fills me with dread. Yes, going to get my Hong Kong dollars took me over an hour but I was mentally and physically prepared. I took drinks, snacks and a magazine and I waited very patiently. I also prefer eating Chinese food now rather than trying to cook western food. It’s cheap, delicious and usually takes me ten minutes to find something I would like to eat. I think my tastes overall have changed, as I find myself craving things like dumplings and quail’s eggs rather than pie and mash.

 4) Reverse culture shock

Although I am definitely not into this stage yet, I am wondering how difficult I will find coming back to England. I will have to queue for things instead of using my elbows. I can’t shout across the restaurant for the waiter when I need a drink; instead I will have to wait until they come to the table with their pen and paper. Eating out will be a distant memory as I’m pretty sure nowhere in the UK will serve a full buffet for less than £2.

However, I cannot wait for things like immersing myself back into a society of logical people. The Chinese are THE most illogical society I have ever known. For example, they stop at the top of escalators in order to figure out their next move, leading to a human pile up, or let their child use the toilet (floor) just 50 meters from a public toilet, because obviously, that 50 meters is just too far. They won’t sit down on benches without placing a paper napkin down first, but find a lunch of chicken feet and frog on a stick a delicious treat.

It will be a welcome relief coming back home and enjoying things like the normal amount of people piling into a lift (a record of 22 people in the subway lift last weekend – I was practically licking the glass window) and finding a queue where nobody pushes to the front because they are late for a lunch meeting. So as the time draws nearer to my return home, I find myself wondering what I will miss about this strange, mysterious, absolutely flipping mental and wondrous city and what I will happily leave behind in China.